Prayer Is Like Sex...

I have been reading through Philip Yancey’s book Prayer: Does It Make any Difference? As always, Yancey has a unique way of approaching things that makes me think. The book explores the question set out in the subtitle, “Does It Make any Difference?” If God knows everything and is sovereign over everything, then how can anything we say in prayer make any difference? It is a fascinating study of some aspects of prayer.

One of the things I always like about Yancey is that he so seldom sounds like a preacher, which he is not. He is a journalist, and he often approaches topics from a totally different perspective… sometimes a surprising perspective. I was a bit surprised when he quoted a friend who compares prayer with sex.

I think prayer is analogous to sex. (Peoples’ ears always perk up when I say that.) Most people would complain about their sex lives; a few do really well. Sex and prayer are intimate and over-glamorized relationships. We are led to believe that we should be in the stratosphere in sex and in prayer. It sets up a false expectation. And breaks down intimacy.

Yancey goes on to observe how many “How-To” books on prayer can read very much like a sex manual. “What sounds so thrilling on paper bears little resemblance to how sex usually plays out between two vulnerable people who approach it with difference expectations.”

I never would have though of that analogy, but I think he’s onto something. Do we expect the “earth to move” everything we pray? When prayer doesn’t work (that is, we don’t get the answer we want), do we assume that we just aren’t doing it right? And so we try to find some different technique or procedure that will work better. Both sex and prayer benefit by giving some thought to improving technique; later in the same chapter, Yancey has a section entitled "Chosing a Prayer Routine." But by focusing mainly on techniques, do we in the process fail to enjoy what it is that God really wants to share with us in prayer—closeness and intimacy with those He loves so intently?

Analogies always fail at some point, but I think he makes an interesting point. I’ll stop writing now before I stumble over some double entendre that I never saw coming!