It was bound to happen at some point. To be honest, I am surprised it hadn't happened before now. I woke up yesterday morning with a migraine or cluster or really-really-really bad headache. I don’t know what to call them because they have never been officially diagnosed; Mom called them "sick headaches" when I was growing up. Most people on Mom's side of the family get them-- they call it "the Copeland Curse." I call just them migraines because "bad headache" just doesn't do them justice. I don't get them that often, and I have never had a bad one on Sunday when I had to preach. Until yesterday. Yesterday morning I was hurting so bad that instead of reading through the full sermon like I usually do, I laid down in the auditorium beside the pulpit and slept for 25 minutes. (Hey, other people sleep through my sermons...).
But as the worship started, I really stopped thinking about how bad I was hurting. I forced myself to sing, and the more I did, the less distracting was my pain. By the time I got up to preach, I didn't even notice the headache at all. (I did notice that I hadn't "rehearsed" the material as much as I usually do). I got through the sermon and the rest of the service and felt uplifted and refocused by the experience. And then I went home and was miserable sick the rest of the day.
I guess I could chalk this up to adrenaline kicking in and getting me through the sermon, like the athlete who plays hurt. But I also believe that the worship itself was a distraction that got my focus off my immediate problem and centered me in the eternal. I know from experience that these headaches don't last forever, though they sometimes seem like they will. But the truths that we sang, prayed and communed about are eternal ands real. There was something about losing myself in worship that got me over the immediate pain.
Worship as a distraction? In reality, worship centers us on what is REAL and helps us not to focus so much on the distractions around us. Worship reminds us that "God is and all is well" even as we hurt. Asaph struggled when he saw the prosperity of godless, wicked people. This caused for him a faith crisis, "I had almost lost my foothold" (Psa 73:2). He goes on to discuss his envy of the wicked rich around him who thumbed their bose at God and seemed to prosper anyway. What transformed his thinking was worship. He writes, "till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny" (Psalm 73:17). Worship re-centered him in the reality that transcends the temporary pain and injustice of our world. Worship reminds us of what is real. In worship we sing, “I place you on the highest place…” In doing so, we remind ourselves that God is God over our pain, struggle, doubt and fear. Worship remind us of reality; worship becomes reality.
But as the worship started, I really stopped thinking about how bad I was hurting. I forced myself to sing, and the more I did, the less distracting was my pain. By the time I got up to preach, I didn't even notice the headache at all. (I did notice that I hadn't "rehearsed" the material as much as I usually do). I got through the sermon and the rest of the service and felt uplifted and refocused by the experience. And then I went home and was miserable sick the rest of the day.
I guess I could chalk this up to adrenaline kicking in and getting me through the sermon, like the athlete who plays hurt. But I also believe that the worship itself was a distraction that got my focus off my immediate problem and centered me in the eternal. I know from experience that these headaches don't last forever, though they sometimes seem like they will. But the truths that we sang, prayed and communed about are eternal ands real. There was something about losing myself in worship that got me over the immediate pain.
Worship as a distraction? In reality, worship centers us on what is REAL and helps us not to focus so much on the distractions around us. Worship reminds us that "God is and all is well" even as we hurt. Asaph struggled when he saw the prosperity of godless, wicked people. This caused for him a faith crisis, "I had almost lost my foothold" (Psa 73:2). He goes on to discuss his envy of the wicked rich around him who thumbed their bose at God and seemed to prosper anyway. What transformed his thinking was worship. He writes, "till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny" (Psalm 73:17). Worship re-centered him in the reality that transcends the temporary pain and injustice of our world. Worship reminds us of what is real. In worship we sing, “I place you on the highest place…” In doing so, we remind ourselves that God is God over our pain, struggle, doubt and fear. Worship remind us of reality; worship becomes reality.
3 comments:
I also have had cluster headaches,(my since of smell gets very acute when I have those). I have had a number of migraines after seeing the flashing lights (smelled distorted smells with the worst ones). Sometimes theses last for days and I must stay in the dark for hours as the light hurts. Ginger helps with the upset stomach. If you have a sinus infection wash inside your nose with salt water. If you have been exposed to a carbon monoxide or solvents get some fresh air. I had a cracked exhaust manifold on a car that I washed the bugs off of the grill while it was hot (it was my fault) and I didn’t even know what was making me sick. Don’t let anyone put you on kidney damaging drugs that will only make you worse. Is the carpet still blue or has it turned green? Were you just laying down in green pastors? A good carbon monoxide monitor might be in order let me know if it read 15 parts per million. It should read less than that. Fresh air and sunshine is good in conjunction with exercise in the cool fresh air. My family had a gas leak many years ago and we all thought we had the flue. Our dog feel asleep under the new heater gas out vent outside when it got cold and never woke up (he should have stayed in his heated dog house). I hope that doesn’t happen to you, it sounds like your dying. I assume you have not been staying up late and ringing in the new year. Coffee! have you had a half a cup with a couple of ibuprofen. Works for migraines most of the time but it could become a problem if used every day or drink more than a cup a day. Relax and enjoy as you do your duty and worship. I hurt also and I take the pain, when I am hurting I know I am not with the dead ones.
If it is alergies Claritin D (Loratadine and Pseudoephedrine ) is what you might need but if you are having a blood clot or a heart attack two aspirin could save your life. However if you are bleeding in your brain it wouldn’t be such a good thing to take. (have you been hit in the head?) Keep in mind that I am not a doctor. I also struggle as Asaph did and I do so much appreciate what you shared here.
Please get an MRI..ASAP..Just to make sure it's not a tumor called Meningioma..Hilda
I know because I have one.Men get them as well..I couldn't believe I had one..Men get them and the sign for Meningioma is headaches..Get one asap..Don't put it off..Go to a Neurologist. In Him, Hilda
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